May You Be the Mother of a Hundred Sons: A Journey Among the Women of India

Customer Reviews

Average Customer Review




Balanced and Honest, February 14, 2008
By Heather Puhl (Florida, USA)
I loved this book. The author covers a wide range of female experiences in India, from the experiences of the very poor and rural to the urban elite. She explores situations that are uniquely Indian, but is able to relate them to the universal human condition. Throughout the book she is very aware of her own perceptions and reactions to what she encounters, so the reader is given not only her report of an issue, but also the author's thought process including her own ethical dilemmas and emotions about each topic. She is able to leave the deeper questions unanswered rather than give an overly simplistic answer, and able to experience her own point of view without being judgmental. This book is about the experience of women and it has a feminist slant- it talks about ways that Indian culture could change to better meet the basic needs of its women, so readers who are looking for total neutrality are bound to be disappointed. I think that previous reviewers who complained (and panned the book) for "sensationalism" were very mistaken. The author is always respectful and never lurid or sensational. Personally i thought that overall this is a fascinating read, a well-written, thoughtful and thought-provoking treatment of this subject. I have already recommended it to several friends and will continue to do so.



a sensationalized stumbling-block, March 8, 2007
By Alexander Bostwick
Bumiller refuses to take her informants at their word if what they are saying at all contradicts her preconceived notions about gender in Indian culture. She is treating some serious and important issues here, but I fear the journalist's tendency to put a sensational spin on things has made this book a stumbling-block to improved gender relations in India and other parts of the world. If you are looking for an introduction to important social issues in India--issues like bride burning, arranged marriage, or female infanticide--this is the wrong book for you. There are too many fictions mingled with the facts here.



A sensitive, honest, well-researched report on the lives of Indian women, November 7, 2005
By David Graham (Shell, Ecuador)
Elisabeth Bumiller's account of the lives of women from various walks of life, accumulated during her time spent living in India in the 1980s via interviews and friendships and augmented by the extensive reading she did on the subject before, during, and after her time in India, proved to be a "good read". It was not merely a series of personal anecdotes (lacking in broader perspectives and studies) nor did it err on the other end by being little more than a dry, academic, emotionally detached account of bride burning, dowry murders, female infanticide, the film industry of Bollywood, overpopulation, arranged marriages, domestic hardships, and the like. Instead it was a passionate and thoughtful account by a Westerner living in India who grew to love the people she met and whose research reflected the respect and curiosity she had for the women of India.

Some of the reviews of this book have accused it of being "stereotypically western", "condescending", "shallow", "overgeneralized to the point of being trashy", exhibiting a "Western imperialism", "colonial mindset", or being a "stereotypical account with a liberal dose of sensationalism". I can only say that I found none of those things to be the case when I read the book. There is no doubt that the author's western background and mode of thinking provided the platform from which she observed and evaluated her experiences in India, but she went to a great deal of trouble to broaden her own impressions by consulting the people of India about the problems of India: through her friendships made in India, through numerous interviews (and follow-up interviews) with people from both city and rural areas and from different castes, through viewing of films and television, through reading various Indian magazines (e.g., India Today, Business India, etc.), various Indian newspapers (e.g., The Times of India, The Telegraph of Calcutta, Indian Express,etc.), through special reports (e.g., "Women in India: A Statistical Profile - 1988" put out by the Department of Women and Child Development via the Ministry of Human Resource Development in the Government of India), and through reading various books written by both Indian authors (e.g., Sudhir Kakir, Jawaharlal Nehru, Chidananda Das Gupta, et. al) and foreigners who had lived in India. The result is a balanced and broad view of some of the problems being faced by women in India, not a provincial, overgeneralized, condescending, stereotypical account of India.

Her account is certainly not a dry, emotionally detached one but rather one in which she is actively involved. Is she opinionated? Sure: that's what keeps the book from being boring. Yet it is important to note that the author is honest and fair enough to keep this book from degenerating into a one-sided polemic. Even when she disagrees with a practice she observes (such as female infanticide) she does more than present her own opinions: she also presents the opposing viewpoints and mitigating life circumstances that lead people to act as they do. Moreover, her disagreements are not made in a spirit of self-righteous condemnation but rather with a good deal of compassion. The reader is allowed to see the emotional and intellectual struggles the author goes through as she has her viewpoints challenged by what she sees and hears.

Having read about and traveled in India myself, I found this book to be enlightening. As I mentioned earler, it is a "good read", meaning that the book doesn't drag. Is it the "definitive" book about women in India? Of course not. Such a book doesn't exist. Moreoever, coming out as it did in 1990 (1991 for the paperback), it grows a little more dated each year. However, both as a valuable historical document and an anthropological tool for helping understand more of the Indian character, "May you be the Mother of a Hundred Sons" deserves a place alongside other books that are rightfully praised for their usefulness in throwing light on a fascinating country full of an immense diversity of peoples and practices.



May you be the mother of 100 daughters:), February 25, 2005
By Laura B. (Da boogiedown BRONX, NY)
This book was very interesting & I feel that I have learned a lot from reading it. It is non-fiction, the author discusses topics that as citizens of this world we should all educate ourselves on: arranged marriage, bride burning, female infanticide, women in politics, & population control among other topics. This book was written in the 1980s so some of the information might be somewhat outdated but it is very informative regardless. Ms. Bumiller is a Westerner (seemingly a wealthy one) & the book sounds at times like a reading from an academic journal: the case-studies will outrage you but won't bring tears to your eyes or make you board the next plane to India to "make a difference" & help out (it is not a very emotional account). Every woman & man interested in women's status in other cultures should pick up this book & if you consider yourself a feminist you should definitely read it!!



a real eye-opener, January 4, 2005
By shelly (new york)
I an american woman of indian descent, can really take this book to heart. Though women in Inida have achieved a great deal, they still have a LONG way to go. They must overcome many traditional SOCIAL attitudes. I was brought up in the US, around Indians, and I remember the lies and silly games girls would have to play so that they could get around the traditional culture that prevented them from dating, going out, etc. India may appear modern on the outside, with legal status guaranteed to women under the law, and of our recent economic boom, but look behind the curtains and you'll see a society where the fascade of modernity is overshadowed by a centuries-old view of woemn and their roles in society. Not only does India and its men discriminate against women, but it makes life a living nightmare for those individuals who really do want to encourage reform and liberate the society there. Males are still favored over femlaes, and thus many girls' lives are miserable in their families, especially in the rural areas. What's worse, the goervnment only pays lip service to such issues and is not at all genuine in implementing social reform and legal protection for women and girls. India's Still VERY BACKWARD in its social attitudes, and let's hope that through education and westernization, we can shed some light on some taboo issues, and make all necessary changes. We can only pray India gives women a fair chance.